Interview with Anett Breczko.
Can you briefly tell us your pregnancy journey so far?
It was always my dream to have children. I was 25, when I thought that it was the right time. My fiancée wanted to wait. So it took 2 years, until we got married. I was 27 when we felt ready for becoming parents. But it didn‘t happen. We had no success for 3,5 years, that means more, than 40 cycles. Than boom! – I was pregnant with our beautiful daughter, who today has a smart little brother.
How did you handle your emotions and relationship while you had had no success for more than 3 years? When I realized, that I couldn’t get pregnant, and perhaps I will never do it – I thought to myself, that would be the most terrible time of my life. Because that was my dream in life. I never had the big money or an extraordinarily career as a goal. I just wanted to be a mom. And when I couldn’t do it, I got jealous of others, who had done it. I couldn’t understand, why all of them had babies, and I didn’t. It took a long time to see, that nobody has a perfect life. Every person has problems. And it took time to learn how to handle my relationship with my mother, which was never a really good one. Today, as a happy mother of two, I can say: that period helped me actually a lot to see clearly before I became a mother.
During your TTC time, you must try every possible method. Can you tell us your top three tips? Yes, we really tried everything we could. Hormones, herbal teas, acupuncture, naturopathy, 6 IUIs, 2 IVFs. Nothing helped. In 3.5 years, I never saw two lines on the pregnancy test. I found a psychotherapist, and he helped me a lot. Not only in the case of infertility, but also to handle my relationship with my mother, to have more self-confidence, to trust and try things in life.
How long do you think a woman should try to conceive naturally before going for IVFs? Why? That’s a really difficult question. In our case, IVF didn’t help us. We had 2 IVFs, and zero positive pregnancy test. I got pregnant naturally after the failed second IVF. So in our case, it was a redundant medical treatment. But I know other women, who got pregnant with IVF. So I think we need more doctors, who can see who need it and who should try other methods. Because IVF is risky, and I think, we don`t talk enough about that fact.
Although TTC is difficult enough, pregnancy could be even harder. What do you think are the most beautiful and difficult things during pregnancy? Pregnancy was really a miracle in my case. I, the supersensitive girl, became a relaxed expecting mother, who really expected only good things. I didn`t have any fears of any problems with my baby. I couldn’t get pregnant for 3,5 years, but then, everything was perfect. No problems during the pregnancies, by the births, I could also breastfeed my babies, they had only mother’s milk for the first 6 months. At that time I already know, that I was stronger than I thought before…
Why do you want to publish your book on Kindle? Can you briefly tell us what readers can learn from your book? I started to write my story about my infertile time, when we were in the middle of it. It gave me a lot, that I had some readers on internet, who gave me support. They felt the same way, I was not alone. When my book was published in my country, I got emails and even ultrasound pics from babies from my readers as a thank you, that was an amazing feeling! Then I had my kids, and I thought, I started a new life. I just wanted to forget my difficulties before. But after a while I thought there were still other women in the world struggling with this problem. Why not translate my story and give it a try? Maybe I could help some girls who have similar problems? So my story "Before I Got Pregnant“ is now available by Amazon as a kindle ebook. I also have a blog http://www.beforeigotpregnant.blogspot.com. I think, my story is not only about infertility. It is about to learn about yourself, how you work. How your body works, how your relationships work. You can’t control everything in your life, but there is perhaps more that you can control than you thought.
About Anett Breczko:
Anett Breczko is an author and blogger living in Budapest, Hungary who studied German literature and linguistics. She’s married and a happy mother of two kids but she didn’t forget her time struggling with infertility. In her book "Before I Got Pregnant" she writes not only about the medical treatments but she tells also about feelings like fear, anger and jealousy. Her journey shows a supersensitive girl who had the opportunity to see how strong she was.
Photographer: Árpád Áron Csete