In the second part of TTC Story: We Are 1 in 8, But We Are Not Alone [interview part 1], Ruth talks more about how she and her husband managed everything to get through their TTC journey, such as financial issues and emotion effects. She also shares her resources with all women who have similar infertility issues to help them boost their fertility and increase their chances of getting pregnant.
All the infertility treatments, especially IVF, are expensive and not covered by general insurance. How do you and your husband manage your finances?
Infertility is a huge financial strain. We tried to get creative with our fundraising. We started with a yard sale. Several friends and family who knew about our infertility donated furniture, dishes, clothes, etc. for us to sell. We had a huge yard sale and raised more than I thought we would! In the month leading up to IVF, we did an online auction. I did several pieces of art, and family and friends donated all kinds of goods and services, from website design and photography sessions to hand-made wooden picture frames and hand-sewn dress up clothes. We advertised on social media and got a great response. We also started a fundraising page, in case someone wanted to donate but didn’t want to buy anything in the auction. The link to that page stays up on my blog in case anyone ever wants to donate.
Infertility is a disease and everyone has a different situation. Sometimes it’s really hard to find the right person to talk/discuss about it. How do you get your support from in addition to your husband? Do you have any tips to mental health management?
Well, my husband is definitely a HUGE support. I am so lucky that I married him and I can’t imagine going through this without him by my side. My doctor’s office hosts a free support group once a month. I’ve only made it there about 3 times, but I really do enjoy it. I’ll talk to friends and family, but once I started blogging, I had several people (including people I know) reach out to me. There are 3 or so girls who are also experiencing infertility that I now talk with fairly regularly. It’s so nice to talk to people who get it, have been in your shoes or are in your shoes, and who understand what you’re going through. I would definitely recommend finding someone to talk to, whether it’s a therapist, through a support group, or a special group of friends. Write about it, journal, blog, etc. You have to have an outlet.
Father’s Day was just in last month, what do you want to say to your husband?
I want to tell him that I know he will be an amazing father one day. I’ve always known that he would be a great father to our children, and I still believe that. He wrote the sweetest post on our blog shortly after Father’s Day. I know that he struggles with our infertility, too. It’s often viewed as a woman’s disease, but not only are there male factor issues, but men feel the pain, too! I know he hurts and I know he hurts for me. I believe this has made us stronger as a couple and I couldn’t love him more.
Last, do you have something to say to those who have similar infertility problem?
Stay strong. You are not alone. I don’t regret anything that we have done so far in our treatment, even the things tha didn’t work. I know that I have to try everything or else I’ll always wonder if something would have worked if I’d only tried it. I know it’s hard. But don’t lose hope. (I have to tell myself these things all the time, especially right now after such devastating news with our IVF.) So I’m right there with you! If you’re interested in reading our full story, or if you’d like to contact me, please visit www.theoneineight.com.
|My name is Ruth. I’ve been happily married to my husband for five years. I’m a play therapist and school counselor, and I recently started the blog, The One in Eight, to document my infertility journey, encourage those experiencing infertility, and raise awareness about infertility in general. I love to travel, cheer on the Georgia Bulldogs, and spend time with people I love.
Ruth and Andy are having a fundraising project on YouCaring. Help them start a family by sharing their story and donating.