Like any type of relationship building process, it takes time and effort. Taking control of your sex life doesn't necessarily mean whipping out the handcuffs and blindfolds. Here are 7 subtle and effective ways to not only take control in the bedroom but improve your relationship:  


 1. Communication is Key. Don’t talk about sex while you’re  having sex. Take the time away from the bedroom to discuss what  each other’s needs are in. This way you are both aware what each  other likes. Once that discussion takes place, show don’t tell. In  the bedroom, instead of saying what you want, show your partner  what you need.

 2. Do Something Daring the Bedroom. It has to be out of the  box and unexpected. Get a Brazilian wax, take a pole dancing class  or buy a sex toy. You’ll feel sexy, energized and create excitement  in your sex life.

3. Give Your Partner Unexpected Attention: Catch them by surprise. Go in for a kiss when you’re in the middle of a discussion about bills. Stop in the middle of getting ready for work and give them a hug. Say ‘I love you’ when watching television or doing housework. By incorporating these unexpected words of affection, it reminds yourself and your partner that your relationship is an important part of your life.

4. Get Healthy Together. Be each other's support and motivation when it comes to getting healthy. Get your bodies moving together, by working out together. And trust us when we say that your sex life will benefit from this. Walk together, make a healthy meal together and compliment each other.

5. Bring Something New to the Bedroom That You Both Have Never Done Before. Do something you’ve been curious about or have never heard of until recently. Focus on your partner’s inhibitions and figure out how to help them let go. What appeals to most people is the fascination of something unknown and fresh. By exploring something new together, you can add excitement to not only your sex life, but also to your relationship.

6. Invest in Sexiness. Think about what makes you feel sexy and what makes your partner feel sexy. Buy lingerie or clothes that flaunt your best assets. Wear your partner’s favorite scent. Get your hair or nails done. Get a facial. When you feel desirable, your partner will notice.

7. Know Your Body. When it comes to women’s sex life, knowing your body’s unique cycles are important. Some women want to get pregnant & others want to avoid it. With our Personal Fertility Monitor App ,  you can know when your fertile window is in order to be confident that sex can possibly either result in pregnancy or not! (REMINDER: If a woman has sex six or more days before she is ovulating, it is almost impossible for her to get pregnant. The closer a woman has sex to the day of ovulation, the higher the chances of pregnancy are.) By knowing your body, you can remove roadblocks that are keeping you from enjoying the sex life you deserve.


These relationship tips are brought to you by Dr. Laura Berman, LCSW, PhD, a sex educator and relationship therapist. She is the host of In the Bedroom with Dr. Laura Berman on the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN). Here’s her full list of Relationship Homework Assignments: