Roxanne and her husband has been married for 18 years. They knew from the very beginning that they wanted to have children and started trying within 3 months of getting married. Her desire growing up had always been to be a wife and a mother. Little did they know that they would still be on the infertility journey all these years later. God has truly been with them during their journey and has given them grace to make it through every test, every procedure, every waiting period, and every disappointment felt when they received another negative pregnancy test result.

Tell us a little bit about yourself.

I was born and raised in Indiana. At 19 years old I met the man that became my best friend and a year later became my husband. This year we will be celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary!

After about 12 years of marriage God moved us to Texas, where our lives have been completely changed and blessed.

How long have you been on the TTC journey?

We have been trying to conceive for 19 years. We began trying within just a few months of getting married. We knew very early on that we wanted to have a child.

My husband and I have several infertility factors. I was diagnosed as having scar tissue and lesions around both of my ovaries and tubes. My tubes, however, are not completely blocked due to the lesions. My husband was diagnosed as having a low sperm count, bad motility and morphology, as well as varicocele.

Up to this point we have taken several paths of treatment. I have had laparoscopic surgery, we have done 3 IUI's and about 3 years ago we did a round of IVF. All procedures were unsuccessful and therefore I have never experienced any pregnancies.

At this time, we are not seeking any further medical treatments. It is completely in God's hands and we are open to any doors He may open.

We know that you have been through several medical procedures. Can you tell us a little bit about each process. What are the differences? What should you be aware of during each process?

For the best description of the differences, I am going to give you the definitions of the procedures as defined by Mayo Clinic.

IUI (Intrauterine insemination) - a type of artificial insemination — is a procedure for treating infertility. Sperm that have been washed and concentrated are placed directly in your uterus around the time your ovary releases one or more eggs to be fertilized.

The hoped-for outcome of intrauterine insemination is for the sperm to swim into the fallopian tube and fertilize a waiting egg, resulting in a normal pregnancy. Depending on the reasons for infertility, IUI can be coordinated with your normal cycle or with fertility medications.

IVF (In vitro fertilization) -In vitro fertilization (IVF) is a complex series of procedures used to treat fertility or genetic problems and assist with the conception of a child. During IVF, mature eggs are collected (retrieved) from your ovaries and fertilized by sperm in a lab. Then the fertilized egg (embryo) or eggs are implanted in your uterus. One cycle of IVF takes about two weeks.

The procedure can be done using your own eggs and your partner's sperm. Or IVF may involve eggs, sperm or embryos from a known or anonymous donor. In some cases, a gestational carrier — a woman who has an embryo implanted in her uterus — might be used.

Your chances of having a healthy baby using IVF depend on many factors, such as your age and the cause of infertility. In addition, IVF can be time-consuming, expensive and invasive. If more than one embryo is implanted in your uterus, IVF can result in a pregnancy with more than one fetus (multiple pregnancy).

Related posts: TTC Story: When IVFs Bring A Baby

In regards to what you should be aware of during the process, I would suggest you do a little homework before you go to the doctor so that you know what questions you need to ask. Research the procedure, then write down all of your questions to take with you into the office. Emotions and anxiety can be high during these visits and it is very easy to lose track of what questions you have. There were a couple of things that I wish I would have done a little better homework on because afterwards I felt a little naive about what happened and wish I would have known a little more up front so that I could have been a little better informed and prepared.

What helped you go through your difficult times? Or who gave you support?

It was God's grace and love, the strength of my husband and the support of good friends that helped me get through our most difficult times. [Related post: TTC Story: Infertility Will Never Win Over Her Faith]

When things seemed to be at their worst and the hard times came I was remeinded of Hebrews 4:16 - “So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” I could always cry out to God and He would give me grace and mercy to go through it. The situation may not have changed, but He gave me comfort, grace, mercy and peace to ease the hurt and anxiety of the situation.

Throughout the process, my husband was a rock and his strength was an encouragement to me. When I felt like I had no strength left or little faith, he was there to listen to me, love me and support me. That was invaluable.

We had also confided in one couple before we started our IVF procedure and asked if they would be our prayer partners for the process. They were amazing and checked in on us almost daily and sent us scripture to encourage us.

Editor: Take a look at our top 10 TTC quotes that can give you energy to keep trying.

Is there anything else you want to share?

I know firsthand how excruciating this infertility journey is. It can bring frustration, loneliness, disappointment, resentment, jealously, shame, guilt and grief, just to name a few things.

I want to encourage you though that even in the midst of all of emotions, the feelings and the hurt, God is still walking beside you. He loves you and He has not forgotten about you. He is working things out for your good. Even though you may not be able to see it right now, at just the right time He will give you a glimpse into the purpose of your own infertility journey.

I promise you that there can be joy in your life, peace and contentment even in the midst of waiting for the manifestation of your miracle. I am a living testimony to that fact. I still have empty arms, but am able to be joyful, at peace and be content even while I am still in the waiting room as well. God wants the same thing for you. Allow Him to help you.

I am praying for all of us on the journey. Thank you so much for allowing me to share a little about myself and my journey. For further encouragement or prayer, please visit my website at www.gracefilledwaiting.com and follow me on twitter @gracefilledwait.

Editor: Check out our tips for increasing fertility during TTC.




About Roxanne



Roxanne and her husband has been married for 18 years. They knew from the very beginning that they wanted to have children and started trying within 3 months of getting married. Her desire growing up had always been to be a wife and a mother. Little did they know that they would still be on the infertility journey all these years later. God has truly been with them during their journey and has given them grace to make it through every test, every procedure, every waiting period, and every disappointment felt when they received another negative pregnancy test result.


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